One time, a few years ago, I received a DM from someone who’d just friend-requested me.
She was pleasant and after a bit of small talk, asked: “What do you do? I’d love to know about your business and how you help people.”
Well, of course I already had a beautiful post written up explaining exactly what I do.
So I said, “Actually – this post is a really good summary of what I do!” and I linked her to it.
She wrote back, “Oh, thanks Eleanore. Actually, I was asking more for the sake of conversation. 🙂”
That moment taught me something really important: we humans are not all the same.
Specifically: some of us are introverts and some of us are extroverts.
I mean, of course I had already known about the existence of that difference in human energy, but back then I was less attuned to it.
And I still had the blind spot of assuming that everyone would view that “what-do-you-do” question from a stranger in the exact same way that I did: as a request for information.
But actually, in her case it was a bid for connection.
(I do remember that she wasn’t a business or sales coach – she did something along the lines of relationships or personal development – so the question likely wasn’t leading to a pitch.)
All the introverts who are reading this right now will likely relate to how I responded – because we would never ask a question just to strike up a conversation when we could easily get the answer another way.
Any form of interaction with others ultimately drains us – so what energy we do spend on that, we want to spend wisely.
Usually that means exploring deeper topics rather than surface-level ones asking about information or data points.
And, conversely, I know that extroverts who are reading this will very much relate to the woman who asked me the question. They draw energy from any kind of interaction with other humans, and love connecting on pretty much any topic.
Neither way of being is right or wrong – and both ways have their pros and cons.
Both have gifts to offer the world that the other doesn’t (or doesn’t have to the same degree, at least).
And – this is really important – we will all thrive and have the most success under conditions that are a good fit for our natural way of being.
Even though that person wasn’t trying to sell me something when she asked “what do you do,” I know that many folks DO use those kinds of outreach questions to try to connect with potential clients.
I want to be clear about something: they’re not “wrong” to do that.
Many say that it works to get clients, and I don’t doubt them. I suspect that many of the clients it works for are also extroverts who enjoy connecting with another human being over any kind of topic.
But I also want to be clear about something else: you’re not “wrong” if you don’t want to do things this way.
In the early part of my business journey (this is my 10th year in business), most of the people I learned sales from – as well as most of my business coaches – were extroverts.
Many told me that I had to do direct outreach and start a lot of conversations with strangers every day if I wanted to be successful in business.
(It’s an interesting leap from “this worked for me” to “others HAVE TO do what I did” – I’ll tell you that. 😉)
That way of doing things burned me out and exhausted me – because it’s not aligned with my natural energy.
As an introvert, my most comfy, happy place is being with myself exploring my own internal world.
Kicking around different ideas, re-formulating them, trying to understand them better.
All the introverts will be smiling knowingly, nodding their heads right now, thinking about how delightful and wonderful our inner worlds are and how they wouldn’t trade that experience of being with themselves for almost any conversation with someone else (with a few exceptions for our deepest and most satisfying connections).
And that’s why, about 5 years ago, I decided to try marketing in a way that would simply put beautifully-formed ideas and offers out there and let those who felt aligned respond and contact ME first.
I enrolled over 200 clients and made ~$960K this way – without initiating a single DM conversation.
I’ve actually had a few people imply that I might be lying about these results (oof!) – that it’s not possible to achieve that without doing direct-outreach type DMs.
And while that does sting a little, ultimately I see it as the “energy gap” between introverts and extroverts revealing itself.
Just as I can’t imagine staying engaged and present in several (or even dozens) of DM chats every single day without wanting to crash on my bed in exhaustion, I’m sure they can’t imagine being able to stay engaged with the solitude of a typing screen for an hour or two each day, patiently crafting hundreds of detailed posts that incorporate every nuance, caveat and distinction necessary for potential clients to understand what they do and be interested enough to reach out.
And that’s okay. Once again: neither of us is wrong. We are just wired differently.
But I’ll tell you that the way I do things is, for me, nothing less than an introvert’s paradise. 😍
And if you yearn for that too, you’re not wrong.
Unfortunately, we live in a world that often presents extroversion as the norm, and introversion as a deviation from that norm or a problem to be fixed.
You aren’t broken if your energy doesn’t match that of a typical salesperson or trainer.
It’s okay to honor the way you were made.
Introverts have amazing ideas that are often crowded out by louder voices.
And that’s actually one of the best things about social media – because posting is one-directional and NOT a conversation (i.e. no one can “interrupt” you), your voice can have just as much of a chance at reaching people as others do.
If you’ve followed me for more than 5 minutes, you know that I’ve spent the past 5 years refining my methods of writing posts and pitching offers so that we can call forward exactly the right people for any kind of high-end service or coaching – with MINIMAL draining back-and-forth conversation. 😉
(Quick chats to confirm that someone is a good fit for the offer they saw posted on our page are about the extent of most conversation that happens when using my method.)
And if you’d like to partner with me and get my feedback on the content and offers you’re sharing and how to bring them more into alignment with my frameworks so that you can draw in the perfect high-end clients without having to exert yourself in a way that doesn’t match your natural energy…
…you may enjoy hiring me for my 1-month private intensive.
We meet a few times to refine your offer and your best-fit client, as well as the way you describe those things in writing.
We also take a look at how you’re writing content, and refine that as well to better align with my proven frameworks.
This offer includes unlimited feedback from me on as much content as you’d like to write and submit.
The goal is for you to have a blueprint for how to say things and what to include going forward so that you’re not dependent on me.
(Say, that’s another thing that introverts like, isn’t it? 😉 Not having to be dependent on someone else in order to function productively?)
This program is a good fit for people who have years of experience doing what they do and helping people to get results – even if that experience was gained in a context OTHER than your own business. It still counts.
It’s also the best fit if you’re not currently in a major pivot in your business (i.e. you are not currently making HUGE changes to what you offer or your ideal client).
Ideally you’ve also sold your high-ticket offer before, though this is not a requirement.
DM me on Facebook if you’re interested in working together in this program.